When your marriage ends and you suddenly go from being a couple or family to being single it is a huge life adjustment. Getting back into the single life can be hard for men after divorce. This not only includes dating but also hanging out with friends, taking care of yourself as well as your home and other areas of your social life that you left your wife in charge of. This process will take some time and can be an adjustment for many; the tips below will help you get back into the social groove.
First thing understand that you may need some time after your divorce to clear your head and grieve. You may have had time while the divorce was in process to get a feel for the single life. Be aware however that many times you will find yourself coping with a different feeling once the divorce is actually final, assets are split and child custody & support agreed upon. You may find yourself starting the grieving process over again and that is okay. Allow yourself time to mourn the loss of your marriage and old life.
Take time to be alone without being in a relationship or dating. This time period allows you time to discover who you are, on your own, without the influence of anyone or anything else to compromise with. The new you, especially the new you with children may not be what you remember from before your marriage. You owe it to yourself to find out who you are and to adjust.
Take time to do things that you avoided and put off while you were married. This is the time to explore those things you wanted to while married but didn’t because your wife didn’t like it. Now is the time to do what you want being it travel, fish or buy a motorcycle. Enjoy yourself and do those things that you compromised because of your commitment to your wife and family. When you are divorced there is no one to compromise with so the sky is truly the limit for you. Take time to enjoy it and discover your single life.
Take some time when getting back into the dating game. Play the field, go on a lot of dates and stay out of relationships to start with. Many women will understand your desire to stay commitment free for while after your divorce. If they don’t understand that desire most likely you are falling back into the same traps you may have in your first marriage. Compromise is good to some point however if you find yourself always on the giving end you are dating in the wrong direction.
More than anything your life after divorce should take into consideration all you learned from your marriage and throughout your divorce. Take the good and bad experiences and amplify the areas that work while reducing those that don’t. Learn and grow from past mistakes, bad decisions and hardships. Move past them and bring only the positives out of what you have learned into your new life.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.