In our last installment on marriage and divorce we talked a lot about learning to accept that your marriage has ended and that a new life awaits you. We discussed taking steps that create a life worth living and one that is focused on making yourself happy. Finally feeling worthy of feeling good is something that may take some time but when it finally happens and it hits you the sensation is one that you will want to experience more frequently and bring to your everyday life experiences.
When you feel fulfilled in yourself what happens naturally is that people begin to be drawn to you. You may find yourself surrounded with more friends than ever before and dating prospects will start to flow through at a constant pace. This may be strange and overwhelming at first although it is important to know that this too is a piece of the puzzle; this part is your future.
Your future still contains pieces of your past. It is possible and vital that you encompass both parts of your life past, present and future into one. This starts will developing a relationship with your ex especially when children are involved. The relationship that you have in the future will be and should be so utterly different from your past relationship. Create a working partnership focused solely on the kids. Your new relationships with other have no basis on your relationship with each other or your children. It is possible to separate the two and at the beginning is necessary.
Your kids are so important. I will never say the most important thing in your life because it is always important that self-preservation take a front seat in creating a life you are excited to live. Most marriages focus too much energy on the happiness of their children therefore leading to demise. This is why I believe that your children and their feeling are important however separate for the time being from your self-preservation. When you are with your kids be with them fully. Spend time with them, do homework with them, don’t allow for outside interruption. This is most important or the first year following your divorce. I am not saying they shouldn’t see you happy or hear about your happiness just don’t involve them in any partnership that may be involved in bringing you this happiness.
Make time for you time, personal time and kid time. This may be the problem you found in your first marriage is that you didn’t have time enough for each individual facet of your life. This is a mistake that needs to be avoided as your create a future you are excited about living. When you are married you often find yourself living a life of compromise. One of the nice parts about your divorce being over and your future being ahead of you is that you get to choose how to live it. It is important that you take this time to do just that; go live the life that makes you excited about living again!
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.